Monday, 23 September 2013

Velvet Tongue

    This was a rather spur of the moment decision . I'd spent the weekend  and August had been a quiet period for my adventures . As regular followers of my blog might have noticed.. I know there's at least one of you.  So is probably mentally editing this as she reads :) (I blame the kindle.)

    My day had not been going well as with an uncanny sense of timing I'd decided to combine breaking in some new boots with work giving a pedometer to all staff as a healthy living which may be slightly floored as they have introduced a competitive element but minimal  oversight. I suspect several staffs dogs will be getting a new collar accessory over the coming weeks. Personally i wil treat it as an opportunity to do more exercise . To cut a long  story short by the time work finished I'd acquired 3 blisters and  a limp. So I decided to  head for home rather than hop on a train for a change of shoes. Having missed Herts pride at the weekend  and having regretted it  having heard great things about it I decided to head out.

   Having had dinner some painkillers some plasters  and a change of shoes I set off with 40 minutes to get from my closest station to Shoreditch.The gods of transport smiled on me and  a little judicious use of online bus planners meant I made it to Bar Kick  by 7.35.

   Bar Kick was a I guess a table football bar. It had a vague continental cafe bar feel. Reinforced by the fact they sold Orangina. However having followed a chalked notice and slipped behind a curtain I entered a whole different world.  As my money was taken by a lady in nipple tassels I wondered if the bar patrons knew what was happening  beneath their feet.

The actor kicked off with a man doing a reverse cross dressing striptease transforming from a naked man to a fully dressed women.It was well done in time to the music and with subtle touches of humour. Alas twas the highlight of the evening

You know how their are comedians who equate being rude with being funny well this show equated being naked with being erotic.  Some comedians get away with it and I'm sure some acts do to alas their weren't any in that night.

   We had a couple of clothed acts . A diary reading  Sorry an erotic reading by some guy  which ran too long by a considerable margin and  a lady who heavily influenced by cabaret
performed a silly song  with the help of 4 audience members. The crux of her act was that in English Whoopie can mean  sex and also a whoopie cushion. So she invited members to volunteer to help her make whoopie.

We also had a brace of transexuals . Whose act was basically  suprise I'm not a man anymore!! The first was apparently a Jewish man  Lazlo Perlman  he came on and proceeded to seek to confirm every positive  stereotype of the wisecracking new york jew. He gave out donuts to all the Jews in the audience and thenwhen those ran out to anyone who  wanted one. He then told us stories of his childhood and his mum . Who would seem to have her picture next to the dictionnary definition of sexual liberation. He told us some other stories of his life growing up as a Jew  .  He was quite amusing and gradually removed his clothing for his big reveal that he was no longer a man.

The other transexual recited a poem about "no one loving a fairy when she's forty " it was quite tragic really

This was in the second half which was open mike time. The amateurs were a mixed bunch including a german who told a story about baking being racist and had  a carrot up his ass which he used to stir his drink.

A man who very matter factedly told us he was a sadist and  recited us some poems which were fairly brutal.

The evening was I suppose all embracing and it was nice to provide people with a safe environment  the felt they could share in but I dont think I'll be going back for round 2

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